I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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