About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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