if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
