Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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