why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
