Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You need Xanax blowdarts
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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