Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize