My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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