Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
