I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
