he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
