What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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