Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
