Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
