Already got asked if we're dating
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
