You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
