it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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