The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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