He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
