Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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