Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
