Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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