i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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