i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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