i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
