Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
