nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
