Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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