well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
