Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
