I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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