It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
time to smoke my breakfast
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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