Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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