With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
