she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
