i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
