Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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