Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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