I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
