Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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