Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Still dying that you shit outside
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
