He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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