Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
