my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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