dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
