He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
