Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
