It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
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I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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