So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
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Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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