Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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