So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I touched a dick in church today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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