she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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