he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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