see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
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I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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