her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
