In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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