yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize