you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
