everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
