Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
