But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
