If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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