how can u be prego again
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
